Happy and Sad

Reading everyone's posts the past couple of weeks I've had a lot of mixed emotions.  There have been amazing, wonderful stories from women who have finally given birth after years of waiting (congratulations TurtleMama, Sooz, and Jay!!!)  Seeing pictures of their beautiful babies and hearing the joy their 'voices' (underneath the exhaustion and craziness) is so wonderful.

And then there are the women who are still happily pregnant - furnishing nurseries, picking out names, posting their ultrasound pictures.  It warms my heart to read about every milestone passed, every dream for the future.

But it's the strong, wonderful women who are still in the trenches that really move me.  There were a couple of posts this week that broke my heart, and brought me back to those tense, awful days in my recent past.  I have no words of wisdom - all of you are veterans, and know how to navigate the landmines associated with IF.  I just wish each of you as much peace and strength as possible in the coming days, and the shortest point possible from here to getting your dream babies!

In other news, I've been very busy and productive preparing for the babies arrival.  I've pretty much picked out a crib, stroller, glider, and am now starting to research infant seats.  We are planning to throw a shower in a month or so, before I get too huge.  I've also lined up a baby nurse for the early weeks and am very far down the line with figuring out a nanny to help me during the week.  I was originally going to wait on that but have been told so strenuously by so many people how much I'm going to need help with twins that I've changed my mind.  I'm also in the process of ordering new windows and blackout curtains for the nursery, as well as childproofing all of our apartment windows. And finally, I'm designing a built-in closet in the nursery for all of their clothes & toys as well as cleaning out all of our existing closets to make room for all of the new gear.

So whew!  A lot going on in the past few weeks, but it's all good stuff.  My belly is growing steadily - I popped out another inch or two over the weekend, and am really starting to look like a twin mama now, I think.  I've been feeling really good, except for the last few days, where I've started to get a little tired and hormonal - I think this is maybe associated with a little growth spurt by the babes.

More to come soon, I hope everyone has a great 4th of July!

And We're Having....

...two boys!  Yep, that's right, we found out on Friday.  I confess Hubby and I had a moment of slight disappointment (we wanted one boy and one girl) but we are just so happy that the babies are healthy and seem to be doing well.

The anatomy scan took quite some time as you can imagine with twins, and we didn't get everything.  I'm going back in about a week to follow up on the last couple of measurements.  But everything we saw looked good, and it's all starting to feel much more real to me.

So now I'm going to start getting the nursery together in earnest and also start thinking about names.  I am excited to start this process - this is the fun part!

19 Weeks

Hi everyone, I've been back from vacation for a little while now and have been having a quiet week at home.  California was great - we just ate our way through the state (mainly in SF and Napa), saw lots of friends and family along the way, and got to see some spectacular scenery at Yosemite.  All and all, a really nice little break.

Couple pictures from Yosemite for your viewing pleasure:

 Lower Yosemite Falls.

"Tunnel View" - view from just outside a long tunnel in the park.

Best of all, I had an OB appointment on my first day back in town, and everything seems to be going well.  I caught a brief glimpse of the babies on ultrasound - they don't have the greatest equipment there so the picture is kinda blurry, but from what I could see the babies seem to be growing a lot!  

I am feeling little kicks and flutters more often now, and my belly definitely grew a couple of inches in the last 2 weeks.  I think I look about 5 months pregnant, although I am only 4 and a bit.  Sigh, I guess this is just how it's going to be!

Our anatomy scan is scheduled for this Friday - cannot wait to get a really good look at the little ones and, most importantly, find out if we're having boys or girls (or one of each!)   I am praying they both look healthy and normal, and that we don't find any issues.  Thankfully, the results of my Sequential Scan and Maternity 21 test (new DNA test for Trisomy 21, 18 & 13) were good so at least we are over that hurdle.

I am going to try to get a bunch of domestic projects done in the next couple months, including starting work on the nursery.  We also need to: 1) lease a new car (twin friendly!), 2) order some missing furniture pieces for the house (all of which include more storage), 3) clean out our closets and make room for all of the new gear coming our way, and 4) figure out all of the baby gear we need to get for the little ones.  I really want to get this done before I start getting too large and uncomfortable to handle these things.  On top of that, I want to start going to the gym and exercising a bit more regularly.  Nothing strenuous, just brisk walks on the treadmill and elliptical machine work.  I started last night and am going to try to go 3 - 4 times a week.

I've pretty much caught up on everyone's blogs, and it seems like things are going pretty well.  I cannot wait for those of you who are still waiting to get what you deserve.  Hoping it's just around the corner for all of you.  

I will just leave you with a picture of a bouquet of peonies that I took from the front garden of our upstate house.  They were just magnificent, and since they were about to wilt I decided to cut them all off and bring them to the city to enjoy.  Peonies are my absolute favorite flowers, so gorgeous and decadent!  

16 Weeks 3 Days - Bump Pic

Hello everyone, it's been a couple of weeks since my last post so I thought I'd give a little status update.  I think I'm officially entering the "honeymoon" period of this pregnancy.  Feeling much better overall - almost normal energy level, nausea has completely disappeared.  Still hungry all the time and eating a lot, but I don't get that sick feeling when my stomach is empty anymore.  

I've done a fair amount of shopping for maternity clothes in the last couple of weeks.  I find it so relaxing compared to normal shopping.  The customer service is great - free bottles of water, restrooms, attentive staff.  And I like only having a limited selection - you just pick what fits and buy it, with none of the usual anxieties about whether there might be something better at another store, or if you should wait for things to go on sale.  So simple!

I got a couple of requests on my last post for a bump picture, so I finally got around to taking some (see below).  And for the rest of this update I think I'll shamelessly steal from a bunch of other ladies in terms of format.  I'm off for my last vacation starting this Friday - will be spending a week in California (SF, Napa, and Yosemite), cannot wait.  Will post again when I'm back!

How far along: 16 Weeks 3 days

Weight Gain: 11 - 12 pounds – yikes!  I've kinda stopped weighing myself because it's too alarming to see the weight piling on, and I don't think I'm going to change anything in terms of my behavior.  This isn't the time to start dieting, so it will be what it will be.  And what it will be is huge!!

Baby: According to BabyCenter, the little ones are now 4.5 inches, or around the size of an avocado.  So I have 9 inches of baby inside me right now!

Symptoms: Can feel my stomach and the extra weight when I walk now.  My legs are definitely more tired than normal when I've been on my feet for a while.  I can only imagine how it's going to feel later on!  Nipples have gotten swollen and very tender in the last couple of weeks.  Hair is thicker, and I've noticed that it doesn't get greasy anymore, even after a couple days of not washing it.  I have also developed Linea Niagara (a dark line down the center of my belly) - my husband finds it fascinating.

Sleep: Sleeping pretty well except I have to get up to pee all of the time.  No matter what I do I always seem to be dehydrated in the middle of the night.  So then I drink water all night, which leads me to pee all night.  But I'm able to go back to sleep each time no problem.  I know this because I've been having the craziest, most vivid dreams every night.

Movement: I think I might have felt my first kicks this morning!  I woke up to 3 or 4 sharp little popping sensations on my right side, accompanied by slight pain with each one.  I can't be sure that's what it was, but I really think it might have been the baby kicking!

Best Moment of the Week: My husband's face when I told him I felt the baby kick this morning - pure bliss.

What I’m Looking Forward To: My vacation in California starting this Friday.  And when we get back I'm really looking forward to our 19/20 week anatomy scan.

Gender: No clue, can't wait to find out!

Bumpdate: Okay, first pics are below.  I am wearing a non-maternity dress because it's more fitted and makes me look a lot smaller (except for my boobs, which look huge no matter what!)  When I wear looser maternity clothes I look way more pregnant.  I am going to start taking more pictures now that the belly is definitely here.  This is going to be a (hopefully) once in a lifetime experience, so I should document it!

14 Weeks

Today I am 14 weeks - can't believe how fast things are going.  My belly is definitely protruding now, and many people have asked me if I am pregnant in the last couple of weeks.  We did decide to go public with the news last week, and it's been both scary and fun telling people.  I do have some lingering worries about "jinxing" the pregnancy by telling people, but I'm trying not to stress too much.

We got our results from the NT Scan, and we came back fairly low risk.  We could have been lower, but the results were in a range that we felt comfortable saying we wouldn't do an amnio.  There are two other blood tests for Down's that I will do next week, one of which is fairly new.  Apparently between all three tests (NT, plus these two blood tests) your certainty rating goes up to 99%, so that's the option we are going to go with.  I just don't want to risk miscarriage with the amnio.

I saw my OB a few days ago for a monthly checkup.  She did a very quick ultrasound and we saw both hearts beating nice and strong.  Her eyebrows went up a little when she saw my weight gain (6 pounds since the last appointment!)  She said I was still fine but I should aim for more like 1/2 lb to 1lb weight gain per week (not >1lb!)

Luckily I think my appetite is starting to diminish a little bit, so I'm hoping I won't need to shovel food in my mouth nonstop in order to avoid feeling sick anymore.  I'm not feeling a whole lot more energetic - still pretty darn tired most of the time - so exercise is still a challenge.  I asked my doctor to check if I had anemia, as I've been feeling unusually tired the last couple of weeks.

Other than that, it's been a pleasant week.  We've had a couple of guests in town and lots of social activities, which has been a nice change of pace from my relative isolation in the first trimester.  I've also just finished planning our last vacation until the babies come - we're going to San Francisco to see my brother, then Yountville for a day to visit some friends and eat at a Thomas Keller restaurant, then Yosemite for a few days.  I'm excited, it's been a while since I've left New York.  I want to see trees and mountains and sky...

I hope everyone is doing well.  A couple of you are due any minute now and I'm eagerly awaiting your first baby pictures!

It's Been A While - Updates From Trip and NT Scan

Sorry I've been a bit absent over the last couple of weeks.  Unfortunately, right before I went to Seattle I came down with the nastiest cold I've had in...I dunno, a decade.  Constant low-grade fever, horribly sore throat/loss of voice, terrible congestion, blowing and coughing up green gunk - the works.  I tried to hold out and just deal with it, but after about a week my sister told me I should consider getting antibiotics - she had just come down with the same thing and had it for a MONTH until she finally got antibiotics.  Luckily my OB's office said they could prescribe me some antibiotics that were safe to take, so I am finally just about over this thing, 2 weeks later!

However, being sick didn't dampen any of the joy I had in breaking the news to my family.  They were all overjoyed, and couldn't believe we were having twins!  It felt so nice to be able to finally share the news with them, it made everything seem much more real.  My mother is now obsessed with getting updates and making sure I'm eating enough.  This is the type of thing that would usually drive me crazy but somehow I'm just amused and touched.

Yesterday I went in for my NT Scan, and H and I got a really good look at the babies.  They both seem to be doing really well - measuring on track, strong heartbeats, and (for the first time) lots of movement!  They were jumping around, waving their arms, kicking - it was amazing to watch!  And you can really see their faces too, they aren't just little blobs anymore.  The u/s tech said she didn't see anything alarming in terms of the neck measurements.  I am hoping this means we are low risk, but we don't get the full results for another week and a half.  Here are a couple of pics from the ultrasound:

Aside from the cold, I'm doing pretty well.  I've gained a hefty 7 lbs already, so I think I'm well on my way to my 20 week weight gain goal!  I'm definitely showing too - it's partly a nice thick layer of fat on the tum, but there's no doubt the belly is pushing out as well.  Boobs continue to be huge and getting huger by the minute.  Nausea is pretty well under control - since I tend to only feel sick when I don't eat enough, I can manage it just fine (by eating and eating!)  Once in a while I'll have a food aversion, but I haven't thrown up yet - I feel really lucky in this.  However, I do have gas all the time - it's pretty embarrassing.  I'm not usually a burper, but the past week I managed to burp loudly into a conference call (luckily I don't think anyone heard me) and right in the middle of a play.  The guy next to me just gave me a look, and H started pissing himself laughing.  Man, you really have no dignity as a pregnant woman!

I have been quite tired this past week - usually during the day.  I find I need a nap at least once a day.  And I've been more crampy than usual - think the uterus is really stretching now.  I've started having anxiety dreams that mostly have to do with being underprepared - you know, realizing that you forgot to study for the test, send in that application, etc. etc.  Gee, I wonder why I'm having these dreams ;-)

I think we will be going public fairly soon.  I wanted to wait until after the NT Scan results, but we have a number of big social engagements this weekend, and I'm not sure I can really hide the bump.  I'm still waffling, but we may just come out with it, we'll see.  It will be fun to finally let friends in on the secret, although part of me is scared about jinxing the pregnancy by coming out too soon.

That's it for now.  I think I'm pretty caught up with most of your blogs, and generally things seem to be going fairly well, with a couple of disappointing exceptions.  I hope for all of you still waiting that you get your BFPs soon, soon, not a moment too soon.  Will be thinking of you ladies...

10 Weeks - Update

It's been a while since I've posted so I thought I'd write an update.  Things have been going pretty well in the last week and a half.  I bought a book on pregnancy with multiples and learned some interesting things about desired weight gain during the first and second trimesters.  The concept is that since almost all multiples are born preterm, the goal should be to get the birth weight of the babies up as much as possible before birth.  Because of the rise in multiples with IVF, doctors now have enough data to study pregnancy weight gain and it's effect on babies' ultimate birth weights.

The authors of the book maintain that the weight you gain in the first trimester is the most important to your babies ultimate weight and health, followed by second trimester weight gain (third trimester weight gain does little for the babies, according to them).  They also say that you need to gain a lot more weight than was previously recommended - like 40 - 56 lbs, instead of the 25 - 35 lbs that is recommended with a singleton.  Their view is that because multiple pregnancies used to be much rarer, the medical community didn't really have enough data to give appropriate recommendations in the past.

The general concepts in the book definitely make sense to me, although I am finding them daunting.  By 20 weeks I am supposed to have gained 20 lbs!  That seems pretty crazy to me, and I'm not sure given how small I am that I will get there.  But I am going to shoot for at least 15 lbs, as opposed to the 10 - 12 lbs that I was going for before.  I am trying to eat more substantial meals, with a higher amount of protein and fat than I was eating before.  And I think that in addition to making me fatter (which it definitely is!) I am also feeling less nauseous when I eat more.  Maybe some of the really bad nausea I had at 7 - 8 weeks was due to not eating enough substantial food?

In other news, I had an ultrasound this morning.  I was going to wait until the NT Scan, but I decided that I wanted one more before I went home and announced the news to my family.  Would be terrible to tell them and then find out something had gone wrong.  Because my OB's office only does monthly u/s, I did this one at a radiology lab.  It took forever, but we finally got the great news that both babies are doing well - very relieved, I had some lingering fears about Baby B.  Also exciting was the fact that they did the u/s on the belly for the first time!  No more vag cam for me!

I am also weaning pretty quickly off the meds - am down to one estrogen patch every other day and have stopped progesterone.  If my blood test results from today are good, hopefully I'll be able to stop everything.  I think getting off the progesterone has also helped with my fatigue and nausea somewhat - it didn't help me very much in that department.

I'm leaving on Wednesday for my trip home - am so excited to tell my family, it's going to make everything seem so much more real.  I hope everyone has a wonderful week and that there is nothing but good news while I'm gone.  Off to eat dinner!