Last Post

This will be my last post before we leave for India tomorrow.  I'm excited about the trip and nervous about getting our CCS results.  We will most likely get them midway through our trip, and I'm really hoping we don't get news that ruins the rest of the vacation for us.  Ugh, not going to think about it!

Not much news to report here.  We got the karyotype results back from my husband and they were normal, which is good.  I have left our email addresses with C.CRM in case they can't get through to us via cell phone - I hope there's enough WiFi around so we can check our mail.  I know I'm going to be compulsively checking it every day!

I have been thinking lately about what I would do in the event we don't have any normal embryos.  My gut is telling me that I would want to try one last time with my eggs.  I'm kind of surprised at myself - I thought I would give up after 3, but now I feel like 4 is the right number.  I am also thinking that I would ask Dr. S to increase my stim doses.  I doubt he'd want to, because 450iu seems like the max dose for most people - but I've done 450iu every time I've cycled and just once I'd like to see if upping the dosage would make a difference.  Just something I've been mulling over lately...

When I'm not thinking about our embryos, I've been busy doing a bunch of little house projects.  We are going to wallpaper and paint our entry hall and back hallway.  The paper we chose is really cool - I will post pics when it's done.

I also found a great vintage rocking chair and ottoman for our living room - it was 50% off, so I think we got a great deal.  Below is a picture - apparently it's by a designer named Milo Baughman.  How cool is that?

That's it for now.  I will be back in the new year, and looking forward to catching up with all of you then.  For anyone who is cycling over the holidays - best of luck!  For everyone else, I hope your holidays are full of laughter and love (and babies, or babies to come!)  See you all in 2012!

Thumb Twiddling

Thought I would post even though there's not a heck of a lot to report.   I'm sort of twiddling my thumbs over here trying not to think too much about the result we're going to get in a few weeks.  Somehow in the process of not doing much a week has elapsed, so that's good.  Just a few more weeks to go now...

I've noticed that since I got back from Denver I've been quite tired, and have been finding it hard to motivate.  Don't know if it's the winter weather, the aftermath of the drugs, or the impending onset of AF - but I've really been a slug.  I really want to lose a few pounds before we go to India, but I think it's going to be a challenge.

I saw a fascinating show on Charlie Rose the other day about the brain, both conscious and unconscious.  A panel of psychiatrists and scientists were discussing (among many other things) what an enormous role unconscious processing has in our ability to function.  Apparently there is a great deal more bandwidth to process information simultaneously in the unconscious than in the conscious mind.  The layperson's example they gave was what happens when you get stuck on figuring out a homework problem and decide to take a break.  After a walk around the block, you'll often find that the answer will come to you quite suddenly - this is an example of letting the unconscious process the information for you.

One of the panelists actually said that the unconscious mind is far superior to the conscious mind in terms of making complex decisions.  He said that it is important to gather all of the information consciously, but not over-think the issue after that, as it can sometimes lead to the wrong decisions.  The better way is to gather the information and then let it percolate in the unconscious mind for a while.  The decision will just come to you after that, and will often be the better one.

I thought this was really interesting, and (of course!) applied it to my current IF situation.  With the amount of information we have to process, and the difficult and complicated decisions we have to make, maybe sometimes it's better to just let things percolate rather than thinking about them too much.  I have a tendency to want to think things out (obsess) beforehand, but I've noticed that with this cycle I haven't been doing that as much.  Maybe that's actually a better way to handle things - less needless anxiety, better decisions?

Anyhow, some random food for thought on a rainy Wednesday.  Reading through the latest round of blog updates, many of us seem to be stuck in some sort of waiting period.  I hope for all of us that these periods pass as quickly as possible, so we can get to the good stuff!

And thanks to everyone for their lovely and positive comments to my last post - you all are keeping me going!

Embryo Update

So after waiting all day for an update, I finally broke down and called C.CRM for the report.  They hadn't frozen my embryos yet which was why they hadn't called me yet.

But the very nice person on the other end of the phone gave me some information:
1) The embryo they thought was questionable (ie, didn't fertilize normally) did not cleave, so it is definitely out of the running
2) The other two embryos seem to be developing well - one is a 10-cell, grade 3+ and the other is a 12-cell, grade 4-

They are about to freeze the embryos and then comes the long wait for results.

I am happy that at least the two I have seem to be coming along - and I am praying so hard that one of them turns out to be the one!!!

We are leaving on a 2 week trip to India in a couple of weeks.  I am SO glad, because it will be a great distraction while we wait for results.  Not to mention the fact that the trip itself should be amazing - we are flying into Mumbai and then travelling around Kerala, in the south of India.  We will be going with some great friends of ours who live there and who planned the whole thing for us - cannot wait.

Thanks to everyone for the amazing comments and support - I do not know what I would do without you guys!!