A warning that this is going to be a whiny, complaining post, reflective of some recent stress and lack of sleep!
As I get further into my third trimester, I've gone from feeling relatively relaxed and reasonably prepared to stressed out and totally behind in my preparation. It started with my last ultrasound a couple of weeks ago, where both babies were measuring in the 80th percentile (!) in terms of height/weight. On the one hand, it's great that they are growing so well, but I was worried that their size is related to the effects of GD. It also made me worry about them getting too big too fast and pushing me into pre-term labor earlier than I want.
The following week I had an appointment with my OB, who was generally very happy with my progress. She was relieved that I made it to 30 weeks, because according to her, at this point I could deliver tomorrow and while things wouldn't be ideal I would be okay. But she spent most of the appointment talking as if I would be delivering in the next few weeks, and that totally stressed me out! I'm not ready yet to go into labor - we are only halfway through our preparation for the nursery. I haven't yet bought everything we need to buy. We have a closet being installed in two weeks and new windows being installed in 4 weeks. Not to mention the fact that I'm not just mentally prepared to go yet!
She also said that both babies are heads down, my blood pressure looks great, and assuming things don't change that I could be a good candidate for vaginal delivery. This also threw me for a loop. When we first met she cautioned me that I would most likely be delivering via C-section, and that I should prepare myself for that outcome. Even if both babies were heads down there was a risk that in the process of delivering vaginally I could end up delivering one, having the other one flip around, and THEN having to do a C-section. That prospect horrified me enough to scare me off of vaginal delivery. Hence I've taken no birthing classes, read no books, hired no doulas - I feel totally underprepared mentally for a vaginal birth.
But now I am having to rethink the C-section plan, and I honestly don't know what to do. On the one hand, the recovery time is so much better with vaginal delivery. But that risk of having to do BOTH vaginal and C-section delivery still scares me - she estimated it at about a 10% risk. So I'm still flip-flopping around about this, and at some point we will need to make a game-time decision. At this point I think I'm going to throw my hands up in the air and make an impulse decision when the time comes - I'm too overwhelmed at the moment to do anything else.
Yesterday I had the biggest scare of all. I went in for my first Non Stress Test (which I will be doing weekly from here on out). The babies were very active and did great, but unfortunately they recorded 3 contractions in the space of about 1/2 an hour! Based on this, they sent me over to Labor and Delivery to ensure that I wasn't going into pre-term labor. Needless to say, this scared the pee out of me. I then had to wait close to 3 hours to be admitted to triage - they kept having to put more urgent delivery cases before me - and by the time I was seen I was thoroughly exhausted and stressed out.
Thankfully, they determined that the contractions were NOT the start of Labor - my cervix was still closed and the babies were doing great. So after taking up my entire day I was sent home. I was feeling really relieved until last night when I got into bed. Shortly after arranging myself into position I felt about 6 contractions over the course of an hour. That freaked me out and I woke my husband up. However, we were both so exhausted (neither of us have gotten much sleep recently for various reasons) that I couldn't mobilize to do anything about it.
So after yet another crappy night of sleep I must admit I'm feeling rather cranky and stressed. I am going to spend the day taking care of stuff we need to do for the babies, and then will monitor myself for contractions. Now that I've gone through the NST I can much more definitely point to when I'm having one - before I was never sure. The drag is that I'm now going to be paranoid about this every day for the rest of this pregnancy. So much for that relaxed, energetic pregnancy glow I was sporting for a few months there!
I am praying that I make it at least another month with these babies inside me, but I know I really don't have any control over this. If you all have any thoughts to share with me on C-section vs vaginal delivery or any of these other issues I welcome them. In the mean time, I'm going to try to get a nap in while I still can!
