I'm just emerging - pale and bleary-eyed - from a 2 day, self-induced blogging haze. Being unemployed, prone to internet-assisted obsession, and alone in the house (no H this week) is a bad combination.
Yesterday was the worst. I woke up with a stuffed head/headache (the dregs of that cold that never really fully blossomed), dragged myself out of bed, looked at my pale, listless face in the mirror and said: "girl, you ain't goin anywhere today." And I practically didn't, with the exception of one trip down to Vitamin Shoppe to get yet more supplements and to Whole Foods to re-up on juicing supplies.
(Speaking of juicing, I wanted to answer TurtleMama's question about my juicer before I forget. I bought the Breville Ikon juicer and love it! It was hard to find - I guess they are pretty popular and have been out of stock for a while, but eventually I got my hands on one via Amazon. If you decide to get one, I highly recommend it.)
Anyhow, after reading what felt like a million new blogs I've come full circle in terms of my emotional state with this IF thing. I started out feeling really hopeful (and scared of hope). After reading a ton of blogs of people who have tried again and again and never succeeded, I must admit I'm now feeling a lot less hope. Actually, I think the most accurate description for how I feel is that I have an ever-flowing tidal wave of Hope which is continually running up against a nearly impenetrable wall of Lack of Belief. I fervently hope, but don't really believe, that things are going to work out for us. And I think that's just how it's going to be, until enough time goes by that we can finally try and fail, or try and succeed.
The waiting is the worst part - right now January seems like an absolute eternity away. Have I mentioned that I am regretting this India trip??
I'm going to start visiting animal shelters. I was planning on waiting until the spring to adopt a dog because of all of the travel we have going on, but screw it. I'm sick of waiting for things and planning around a pregnancy that never happens. I think a dog will be great for me, and (hopefully) if we rescue a dog from a shelter I'll be good for it. I think I'm going to check out some dog adoption books and read up!