So after much digging, googling, and tracking down of various people I managed to uncover that any FSA we could do through H's plan is likely to be negligible (I won't bore you with all of the details, except to say that with the amount of time I've spent on this stuff recently I am now practically bosom buddies with the guy who handles insurance for H's company - he sent me a note Friday asking how Colorado went! Sad, but kinda funny.) It is of course a bummer that we can't save thousands of $$ on the IVF, but it does makes the ultimate decision easier.
November it is!
THANK you ladies for all of your advice/comments - it is so nice to be in good company while navigating this hellhole. And now I'm slightly embarrassed for posting 3 times in 2 days, so I'm going to quietly disappear now for a decent interval (or at least 24 hours!)